Posts

Let Me Be Your Mirror

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Why is it that how we perceive ourselves is usually different than how our friends, family and even the universe sees us? Are we taught to not fully love ourselves or do we pick up on self criticism from how we perceive the world?   Self-help books seem to be all the craze and don’t get me wrong I love them too. When I was at my lowest self-loathing phase of the tummy rolls and a bald head I wanted nothing more than to be inspired to take on the world and feel a bit better about myself. Little did I know I was already taking on the world and battling my disease. It’s sad that as my body was trying to fight to stay alive I was more concerned with my self perception or even the perception of others. I would walk around the grocery store not confident and very anxious about what others were thinking of me… but guess what… NO ONE CARES and actually thinks the complete opposite of your self perception! Now looking back I realize that my situation brought a different type o...

Magic in Our Bones

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It's been almost two weeks since I've been back from Mexico and I must say I love being home. I thought about kissing the floor of LAX when we arrived after the long, delayed travel day but I didn't want to risk the Hepatitis I might contract. I am in a new place in my life that I almost felt never would get here. For so long I was reminiscing about when I was healthy and what it would be like to be able to curl my hair or go out dancing and now those days are getting closer and closer. It's a weird feeling to feel more normal each day instead of waiting for a surgery date or my next chemo appointment. Mikayel and I keep using this analogy that we have been running full speed on a treadmill for 2 years and now all of a sudden someone pulled the emergency stop cord and we are taking a big deep breath. It's an interesting place to be especially in our relationship. We are relearning each other. We are silly and have fun and at sometimes it feels immature but I just th...

Finito- Going out with a Splash!

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Today was my last day in the clinic. It was definitely bittersweet. I have made friendships here that I will always cherish but I also can't wait to sprawl out in our king sized bed... Sorry Mikayel ;) This week I completed all of my regular treatments but a new addition to our schedule was nightly cards with our friends Catherine and Steve. We would grab dinner and play cards for 2-3 hours in the evening. It was a lot of fun to socialize and get out of the hotel room. They taught us Uker which is a midwestern card game that we will bring back to SoCal with us. I was excited because I got to have 3 more sessions with Dr. Leslie. Most of the time patients only get 2-3 sessions with her but I somehow got 5. I am not complaining. She has really helped me process this experience and has also taught me so much in the Energy Healing world that I am so interested in.  A few days ago she introduced me to Neurotherapy. This is a therapy like acupuncture but she actually injects ...

Half Way

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It's been a couple of days since I documented everything but things at the clinic are pretty much the same every day. I have had more laser treatments that have made me extremely sensitive to the sun. I am like a vampire only emerging after the sun has set. A few days ago my doctor plucked a few hairs from my head to do a Cell Wellbeing test. I joked with him that he better not take too many because the hairs are finally growing in. The Cell Wellbeing test tests your hair for deficiencies of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, omegas etc., but it also tests your toxicity level. It gives you foods and food additives that you may be sensitive to and should avoid to see if there is a minor allergy. I was so sad to see 5 of my favorite or most common things I eat on the list of things to avoid- chocolate, corn, rice, soy & bananas. I asked Dr. Alan how serious this was and he said eat them and then be very aware of how I feel 45 minutes later. If I feel sick or tired I...

One Week

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I've officially been in Cancun a week, one third of the way! Today my energy was a little off. I am definitely starting to feel homesick and especially missing Mikayel. Just 3 days, 2 hours and 15 minutes left... But who's counting? I am a true believer in the energy you put out you get back so that could have been why today I was anxious and things in the clinic seemed a little off. It all started with my IV. They wanted to give my left arm a break so they switched to the right arm. After poking me twice they found a vein in my wrist. Yay! But just 15 minutes later I was in a lot of pain and could see my wrist swelling. The needle infiltrated and the infusion fluids were just building instead of running through my vein. So back to the left arm we went, 2 pokes and we were in. Today was laser day and the nurses were extremely confused on who was supposed to be hooked up to what color. I lost a little confidence in my care at that time but I have to remind myself that they ...

Day Six

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Monday's Schedule: 1. B17 Infusion 2. Vibe Machine 3. Vitamin C Infusion 4. Sauna 5. LED Lights 6. PEMF 7. Local Infra Red Light 8. Massage 9. Local Hyperthermia 10. Coffee & Ozone Enemas 11. Hyperbaric Chamber 12. Sunivera Shot 13. Recall Healing Today I had three new treatments. They are always keeping things exciting over there... I think I know how to do everything and then they throw more stuff at me. The first new treatment was a sauna. This was much more enjoyable than the Hyperthermia Chamber. I was able to last all 40 minutes. I was smart and made sure to have my phone and headphones on me to help pass the time. I definitely felt myself detoxing... SO. MUCH. SWEAT. My heart rate was sky rocketing and my Apple Watch kept buzzing that it was high without any physical activity. Sunivera therapy was also new today. This is a shot that I receive Monday-Friday. It alternates between my upper arms and butt. Sunivera is an immunotherapy. The...

Day Five

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Finally a day that I can put the do not disturb sign on the door and not set an alarm. I was surprised to sleep until 9:30 which was about 10 hours of sleep. HALLELUJAH! We ordered room service for breakfast since I am scared to go in the sun. I got a nice fruit plate and Chilaquiles. Very yummy!   I enjoyed the view from our room and wrote what I thought would be a personal journal but has somehow turned into a blog.   This afternoon we went for massages because that is a dark indoor activity. Walking to the spa was funny. I was in long pants and a sweater with the hood on over my ball cap. I totally looked out of place with the people walking to the beach in their bikinis. The massage was a great way to relax and enjoy something about today instead of feeling cooped up in the room.   I waited for the sun to go down so I can enjoy the pool with no sunlight! Now as I finish this post it is time for 40 minutes of ultra sound and bed...